A1: ATTILA

Release: 1970 (reissue Back-Trac Records, 1985)

Acquisition details: 1990 or 1991. Seems like I got it in Germany, though I’m fairly sure that’s a false memory, and I got it earlier in Durham. Purchased new, but at discount price ($4 or so). Bought because cover (see below) drew my interest. Got my sister a copy later.

Embarrassing liner notes: “Attila: Is the most remarkable group on the scene since the Huns sacked Europe. There are only two men in the group, an unlikely number for a conquering horde.”

“[The vocalist] (Taurus) is twenty-one, single, and only sweats two things: perfecting his sound and South East Asia.”

“As they worked, a new feeling crept into their music. There was resentment and hostility at a world that locks new music away in the basement. Hostility toward all the people who say no to new sounds before they hear them. … What they are mad at is complacency, and all those without imagination.” (-Tom Paisley)

There are other Attilas: in case you’re confused, this is the one that included Billy Joel before he was Piano Man. Attila was a duo that featured Joel (the aforementioned Taurus) on organ and vocals and another guy named Small on drums. It’s not quite as bad as it sounds, in fact some bits groove along like the rhythmic parts of “Frankenstein.”

But the first thing you notice is the cover, where the two band-mates stand in medieval (not Hun-like) armor amidst hanging sides of beef. The second thing you apprehend is the fuzzed up organ, very similar sounding to the one in “In-a-gadda-da-vida,” except when it sounds like an electric guitar solo (which is pretty amazing in a bad way). Then you become aware of Billy Joel screeching in a manner standard to heavy metal band vocalists about ’68-72, like Uriah Heep or Deep Purple, I’d say. Then you realize the godawful nature of the lyrics. The doggerel really makes you appreciate Joel’s later lyrical sophistication, even if you hate his corniness.

From “Wonder Woman”:

Wonder woman with your skin so fair
Wonder woman with your long red hair
You have the velvet touch
You have what I want so much

Far worse, from “California Flash”:

He jumped out on the stage
He knew he had everything made
He broke out into a song
Oh, he couldn’t do nothin wrong
Then he started doing a dance
Said it was imported from France
The girls all started to prance
To see the California Flash movin’ his pants.

Side one is listenable until the last “song,” a 7:39 instrumental called “Amplifier Fire [geddit!?]: Part 1, Godzilla; Part 2, March of the Huns.” It sounds a lot like a Hammond organ mimicking a contemporary jazz guitarist (electric). Side two sounds a lot like what I’d imagine a Rick Wakeman solo album would sound like, were I ever to be unfortunate enough to listen to one.

Mixworthy: In my younger days I always thought I’d put “Wonder Woman” on a tape for a red-headed girlfriend, if I ever had one. I did (redhead) and did not (put the song on her tape). I had wised up by then, I guess.

Verdict: Keeper, but really only because it functions as a historical curiosity for both my past as well as Billy Joel’s.